blackpeanut.com

First of all, sorry for the very very long hiatus. Well, couldn’t really sit down and write about what had happened much since the funeral. No time. No mood. Had been busy coping with a lot of new roles and responsibilities - responsibilities that once were not mine and never thought would be mine.

Guess it is true. No pain no gain. In such short period I have learned a lot of valuable lessons about this life and how the world really works. And maybe this short post can become a summary of things that I found out and hopefully will benefit others in the future.

Regarding LIFE.

Issue 1. Don’t underestimate the power of money.

I know money is not everything. But a lot of things involve you paying a lot of these papers. Ranging from funeral, food, commitments, debts and etc. The list can appear to be short but when it goes to details, it can be a serious domestic affair. And of course, it involves a lot of choices, choices which I sincerely hope that other people would not have to make but being the eldest son means you have more say than the wife of the deceased. Things would not get any easier after that. All old debts and receipts will be revealed, and out of a sudden, the upcoming generation is going to have to take it all.

Solution 1 - INSURANCE.

As much as I have despise the idea of so many insurance policy, this is a MUST. A MUST HAVE FOR A 21ST CENTURY WORKING CLASS CITIZENS. When things happen, you will have extra leverage, extra cash, and you will be very thankful that you are holding more cash than what you had. However, choose wisely what kind of insurance that you are going to buy. Had you leave enough? Do not think that death will not choose you, things happen everyday, everywhere.

Solution 2 - MRTA/car insurance/credit card insurance

You might suffer a bit more when you purchase these properties, but it will ensure that if something happen to you, all cost are covered. Your future generation might not have as much earning power as you, so it is wise to be prepared. Instead of leaving down debts, you will leave down things that can help them survive in the coming years.

Solution 3 - TRANSPARENCY

Share your accounts status with your close ones. Well, I guess the only close one here is always wife. Or mother if you trusted her better. Because when something happens, accounts can be accessed by close ones, instead of going thru the tedious application and process of informing banks and etc. This will definitely save a lot of trouble.

Issue 2. NEVER PLAY WITH CREDIT CARD / LOANS

Banks are the biggest loan shark.

If you think that all these minor debts can be discarded by banks then you are wrong. Each cents will be calculate including all interests and if family members failed to pay up all these debits, properties will be frozen, resulting in LELONG. And of course, you are prepared to lose A LOT OF MONEY from all these.

Solution 1 - PLANNING, PLANNING AND PLANNING.

Calculate and calculate and recalculate. There is no one who are free from any loans at this time. Study loans, house loans, hire purchases, personal loans. I am not saying that these are the evils but rather that these are the means and it is up to us to plan and make smart choices, converting bad loans to good loans.

Solution 2 - AGAIN.. INSURANCE

Can’t stress this enough but seriously, buy according to what you think is best.

Issue 3 - DONT GET TOO CONFIDENT

Live life like there is not gonna be tomorrow. Of course, a responsibility of a single man and a married man with children is different. This actually make me think of why bother to even have children. But anyway, ‘accidents’ happen and when responsibilities swell up, you gotta plan harder!

And of course, take care of the health. Don’t be too afraid to get a doctor/go to the hospital. Eat healthy. Prevention is better than cure.

Hope that this will be a reminder to myself and a lot of other people one day later. I will definitely read this again when I turn 35. Haha.

Selamat Hari Raya.

Found the need to write this down. Maybe for reference of my son/grandson (if i’m fated to have one) or for the future generation of my family for a piece of information regarding this man, whom I proudly called my dad.

16th April 2010
It was one of my very early tagging 2nd call as an ortho MO inside the OT. Didn’t do much that day actually. It was until midnight that the OT started calling ortho cases one by one. Managed to skipped out at midnight for supper together with another MO and HO.

It was around 2. A case of ray’s was called it. Things when uneventfully. It was when I finished un-scrubbed and took out my phone that I saw a dozens missed call from my youngest bro. A message from my 2nd bro said that dad is in trouble, please call back asap.

Of course, the conversation was brief. Unexpected.

“What do you mean by he left?”

I told my friend and went back home to pack some stuffs. Still unable to really grasp the reality, my mind was racing.

“Is it true?”

I know my family too well that nobody will ever play a joke on me.

Even if it is true, I can’t do much now but to get back and be supportive I though. I packed what was necessary. A few clothes and a jeans, and I drove home.

Apathy.

The state of denial drags on.

But around 50km from Kluang, tears fell down like nobody’s business.

It was like that, until I reached home.

Dad’s friend was standing in front of the house with a sad face. I walked in, tried to be as steady as I go. Grandma was on the chair crying her heart out. My knees almost gave way when I took the turn at the staircase.

Sound of mum chanting the almighty name can still be heard.

There he was, my dad, lying on the bed. Cold. Blue.

Lost my dad when I am 28, byoon when he is 22, byuan when he is 17.

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When was the last time I saw him?
I don’t know. Can’t recall. But it was definitely in Melaka. The last conversation was, however, few days before things happened. It was over the phone, regarding some domestic issue.

Now that everything has kinda settled down, I can’t help but wonder whether I had know my dad well.

Yes. I would say so. In fact I was proud of him. And it has nothing to do about how much he had earned and supported us, but rather how he had been a good man, and good friend for a lot of people around him. People came from a far just to look at him the last time. Friends cried that they have lost someone close to their heart. It makes me think, how much tears would be shed for me if I am to meet my day? And how much would there be for you?

Well, it never helps even if I had witnessed this so many times inside the hospital. Even thou I clearly understand that nothing cheats death but it is still a pity that he left us this early.

I do miss him.

And I think he does miss us as well.

But we will definitely meet one day later. And I’m sure that place would be a better place for us.

Finally got a set for myself. First time buying something from Shashinki.com. But seriously, service is good and delivery is fast! Got the thing within a few days. And was happily trying out.

Maybe I was a bit too enthusiastic or maybe I didn’t read much enough on this filters but the first outing shooting sunset with it is a nightmare. Maybe I only used the -1 set so nothing much different. I think these would work better on bright daylight. Yet to experiment more.

Hopefully this would mark another milestone on this photography journey.

Never get to write anything here for a long time. Not because I have nothing interesting to write about, but rather busy and filled with a lot of plans and work that need to be done. And of course, 6 months into ortho MO-ship.

Life had been busy. Struggled to put the first property in shape/form and get it rented just now to its first tenant. It was hard work but of course with it came a lot of satisfaction. There are still stuffs to be done, and some cleaning and touching up but hopefully everything will be in piece and I wouldn’t be spending any more big bucks in the future.

Work wise. Am doing something that I had always wondered and wanted. Had always look at a surgeon and wondered how come he has the power and knowledge and skills to do certain thing. And being in MGH gave me the chance to learn the real thing in my own pace. Hopefully I ain’t too slow. Even thou the learning process is slowed down by shifting and cleaning, but I bet I gotta be back in form the coming week. More things to learn and more to do.

And of course, people say the more you do the more mistakes you make. Well, it is inevitable. And I just have to be careful and more careful when time goes.

Got back my tamron lens recently. Yet to take some stunning pictures but am hoping to do that real soon (with new skills and perspectives).

Hopefully tomorrow will be better :)

Maybe in this life, this is the calling?

Damn funny hakka song

Recently, there are a lot of pictures circulating on FB regarding professions. What people think you are doing, what you think you are doing, and what you are doing for real. Most of the pictures are very well put, great for laughter, but can’t deny the fact that maybe it is really as it says in reality.

There are times when people come to me, and want me to advice, suggest or influence future generations related to me, to pursue certain professions or courses. Well, what can I say. This is my first job, and my only job, and I have limited knowledge in what people do and how it is like to be in their shoes.

Looking back and housemanship and all the new medical graduates. I can’t help but think that time has changed. The cycles of saying previous generation was better, worked harder and harsher is never ending. I had always try to keep my mouth shut when it comes to discuss about housemen & housemenship. When I was one, my senior would say that how hard it was for them during their housemanship. And they would say that we have it easy. And now when I became and MO, I saw my colleagues telling the current houseman how it was hard for them last time, some even going to the extend of complaining regarding the new housemen. Haven’t we all been in their place? Well, maybe not they say.

Being a Russian grad. I know it is going to be hard for a lot of new houseman. With the current shift system (there goes the blablabla), it is going to be even harder. Harder in the sense that you have less chance to learn. Harder in the sense that sometimes you don’t even know your MOs. Harder in the sense that you don’t have a close tie with us.

I know people say new graduates have questionable quality.

I know the government in kinda concentrated with doctors and new rules will be there to control all these. And there will even be rules to sack those poor performing one.

But as for today, I think I’ll be nice with all that I work with. We shall help each other since the future is going to be harsh. At least that’s what I believe in. At least maybe with this, we all still stand a chance to be a good doc.