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Found the need to write this down. Maybe for reference of my son/grandson (if i’m fated to have one) or for the future generation of my family for a piece of information regarding this man, whom I proudly called my dad.

16th April 2010
It was one of my very early tagging 2nd call as an ortho MO inside the OT. Didn’t do much that day actually. It was until midnight that the OT started calling ortho cases one by one. Managed to skipped out at midnight for supper together with another MO and HO.

It was around 2. A case of ray’s was called it. Things when uneventfully. It was when I finished un-scrubbed and took out my phone that I saw a dozens missed call from my youngest bro. A message from my 2nd bro said that dad is in trouble, please call back asap.

Of course, the conversation was brief. Unexpected.

“What do you mean by he left?”

I told my friend and went back home to pack some stuffs. Still unable to really grasp the reality, my mind was racing.

“Is it true?”

I know my family too well that nobody will ever play a joke on me.

Even if it is true, I can’t do much now but to get back and be supportive I though. I packed what was necessary. A few clothes and a jeans, and I drove home.

Apathy.

The state of denial drags on.

But around 50km from Kluang, tears fell down like nobody’s business.

It was like that, until I reached home.

Dad’s friend was standing in front of the house with a sad face. I walked in, tried to be as steady as I go. Grandma was on the chair crying her heart out. My knees almost gave way when I took the turn at the staircase.

Sound of mum chanting the almighty name can still be heard.

There he was, my dad, lying on the bed. Cold. Blue.

Lost my dad when I am 28, byoon when he is 22, byuan when he is 17.

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When was the last time I saw him?
I don’t know. Can’t recall. But it was definitely in Melaka. The last conversation was, however, few days before things happened. It was over the phone, regarding some domestic issue.

Now that everything has kinda settled down, I can’t help but wonder whether I had know my dad well.

Yes. I would say so. In fact I was proud of him. And it has nothing to do about how much he had earned and supported us, but rather how he had been a good man, and good friend for a lot of people around him. People came from a far just to look at him the last time. Friends cried that they have lost someone close to their heart. It makes me think, how much tears would be shed for me if I am to meet my day? And how much would there be for you?

Well, it never helps even if I had witnessed this so many times inside the hospital. Even thou I clearly understand that nothing cheats death but it is still a pity that he left us this early.

I do miss him.

And I think he does miss us as well.

But we will definitely meet one day later. And I’m sure that place would be a better place for us.