Happy birthday to myself

Posted by peanut on Monday Sep 13, 2010 Under as a HO

Today is my birthday.

That doesn’t seem all important, at least to me. But YESTERDAY was my last surgical call. And this morning WAS my last surgical day - THAT IS A BIG THING.

4 months of UGIB, LGIB, bleed bleed bleed, bowel, feces, stool colour, appendix and etc, I wonder I had enough. But it is still a state of trance now. Finishing surgical department doesn’t seem to bring much joy but hey, I wouldn’t hope to stay as well. Kaka.

26 years old it is.

For 26 years I know that

1. I don’t really fancy Japanese food - I kept on saying this because I think this is a big self discovery.
2. Post call state - list shall be updated.

My brain kenot think now la! Anyway, let me catch some sleep and continue with this post later k? It is only 7am now. And after that I still gotta think how am I going to spend these 4 days holiday as well. Ciao!

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Interesting read

Posted by peanut on Sunday Sep 5, 2010 Under as a HO

Why we left and why we will continue to leave…
Posted by: MS Mohamad

I read an interesting article today about a few prominent figures addressing their concern over the increasing UKM and UM medical graduates who have left the country to continue their medical practice overseas.

After reading the news for 3 times, I called a very close friend, an MD (UKM) graduate to ask his opinion on how the news might have affected him. He has been working in Singapore for more than a decade as a Consultant Surgeon with a certain sub-specialty

“Why be a slave in your own country, when you are a king in another?” He replied.

Indeed, if anybody would want to find a reason why all of us left, either after housemanship, after being a specialist, or even after sub specializing, and now, even prior to doing housemanship, they need not look at our payslip, or the wealth that we have gained overseas, but only to the Medical System that has been rotting in the ignorance and politic-based stupidity that Malaysia has been well-known for (in the medical field).

I have served the system for nearly 2 decades of my career, waiting for it to improve for so long, and only finding myself in despair, quitting with a 24-hour notice and serving abroad. The system is, in my opinion, keeping doctors, since the beginning of their career as House Officers to the end of it, in the lowermost priority. When I was working there, doctors are so ill-treated, while the nurses and the medical assistants are overpowering us.

I still remember the days when I was doing seeing patients and rounds as an MO, while the staff nurses would mind their own business, having breakfast in the pantry, or having gossip chats at their own leisure. My House Officers would then have to do merely all the labour-work, up to the extent of setting intravenous drips, and serving medications. If I am to expect the nurses, my patients would have been dead, or the work would have been too slowly or incompletely done.

When I was a House Officer, I had to run down 4-5 floors just to review a blood investigation of a dying dengue patient. The ward staff would either be nowhere around, or will say that he is busy (busier than the doctor?) or the answer I got at that time:

“Doktor nak cepat, doktor turun sendirilah, gaji doktor lagi banyak dari saya”

Even when I was a Specialist, the staff nurses had to be called again and again just to make sure the management plan for the patient would be done. I was already used to answers from them:

“I’m busy with something else.”

“My shift is already over.”

…it was routine for me.

The Medical Assistants were worse. They would hide behind their so-called boss, the Head of Medical Assistant. They feel hiding behind him would make them not under our jurisdiction, that we have no power to instruct them in managing the patient, that they have power to manage own their own. I’ve seen them giving medications not as we prescribed, performing procedures without our knowledge, as if they are the actual “Doctors”. They are in their own world, and we have to do their job, taking blood, labelling samples, and even cleaning gadgets from the procedures that we have done.

Oh, but the ministry loves this group. They even let them run a clinic now, instead of upgrading the clinics already run by doctors. The government feels that the MAs are very important and should never be ill-treated by those big bad doctors. One time when I was a District Hospital Medical Officer, I was conducting a delivery of a baby. An MA insisted that I remove my car which was block-parking his car. I answered through the phone that I was busy.

He came to the labor room and yelled “Semua orang pun sibuk jugak, macamlah doktor seorang yang sibuk!”

It is insulting that an MA or a staff nurse claims that they are BUSY, as busy as a doctor? As a Malaysian Doctor, I have even worked for 72 hours straight. I have experienced working until my 6 month old daughter did not recognize me at the end of the week.

Is that how busy they are? I am very sure that they are so busy, that they can only spend 2 hours at the nearby Mamak stall, or can only leave at 5:10 PM instead of 5, or can only have 1 hour of lunch.

The management staffs are worse. I have to beg and plead so that I can get my on-call claims, of RM25 per 48 hours of work. While sitting in an air-conditioned office, they will at their own leisure, process my call claims so that I will receive them by the next decade.

The state health or Hospital Director would just give another inspirational talk (of bollocks) on team effort and beauty of teamwork.

That is how Malaysian doctors are treated in the government sector: without respect, without dignity and without significance. Why?

It is because we are bound by ethics to try our best to save lives, despite how ill-treated we are. We hardly have time to complaint because we are too busy or tired, and we would rather spend the precious time resting or seeing our loved ones. The burden of trying to save lives is on our shoulders alone. No MAs or Staff nurses would shoulder it with us. They have their own bosses: the Sisters, Matrons, or Head of MAs, which job description is to ensure that the big bad doctors will not ask their underlings to do extra work.

This is how the Malaysian Ministry of Health have treated their doctors. I am very sure that in each and every doctor, there is a slowly-burning patience in serving the Malaysian people, which will eventually fade and cause them to surrender to serving a place that treats them better.

A few colleagues who graduated from UK choose to serve there:

“The pay is more, and we get the respect we deserve”

Another works in Brunei:

“Here the staff nurses respect Malaysian doctors, and they are very co-operative” (He ended up marrying one).

A few are consultants in Singapore (working with me):

“Here we are treated well, we spearhead the management, and every else do their work to the best of their capabilities”.

A few even enjoys working in Indonesia:

“The work-load is horrible since there are a lot of patients, but we are well respected by every hospital personnel” (They have migrated there for nearly a decade).

I am sure that people will see doctors as power-hungry individuals who want to be the boss in the hospital. Trust me, after having graduated 6-7 years of medical school, earning a DEGREE, and subsequently MASTERS, and SUBSPECIALITY, you would expect a degree of respect and being considered important. We are trying our best to improve patient’s quality of life, or making sure he lives another day. Is it too much to ask from the system that we are important?

I find that Malaysia is the only country that is making doctors’ lives miserable and treated like rubbish. It was never about the pay in the first place. It is about the treatment we are getting and the false political-based promises. Do you know that the so-called circular about doctors can have the day off after working 24 hours straight released JULY 2009 is not yet implemented? Do you know that the raise of UD 41 to 44 does not involve every doctor in the government service?

We are waiting for improvement. We have waited a long time when we were working in the system. Somewhere along the line we decided to leave and wait outside the system. Until the system changes, we will continue to work overseas, in countries which are appreciative of us. Trust me, Malaysian-graduate doctors are considered highly skilful and competent in neighbouring countries, and the 15 % brain drain is more significant than you think.

We will return when the system prioritize us and gives us the quality of life we deserve.

If it stays the same, Malaysian Hospitals would end up having Staff nurses and Medical Assistants as “Doctors”, and we would have to send patients to Indonesia for an appendicectomy.

Hear our voice. We hardly speak, but will usually fade away from conflict (and fly to another place).

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Of Ayam Percik and fun fair

Posted by peanut on Saturday Sep 4, 2010 Under as a HO, food log

Went to Pasar Ramadhan with Zawani the other day. Hmm. She said that I bought more than those who puasa did. I think it is just me with a lot of weird food.

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Look at the color and varieties!

I bought this drink called Katira and Tembikai susu. You gotta try it to know how it taste like. And bought a pack of kuey teow kerang, 1 piece of yummy ayam percik and a packet of nasi lemak, AND 1 ringgit of roti bomb.

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All and all cost me less than 10 bucks. And I was a big fat man after that.

And later on at night, not wanting to waste my weekend night sleeping it away, Ijah called and ask for a night out. Lepak for some 1 hour in that malay store near Hang Tuah with lotsa bikers and mat rempits, den spontaneously pass by the fun fair and simply got down to have a look.

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Both of us are very very bad with this stupid game. Only manage to get some key chains.

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And she got all excited entertaining those fellas there, betting with them who would be a better… ball roller?

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Feeling lucky?

I went home around 2.30am that night. LOL.

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Pre post

Posted by peanut on Friday Sep 3, 2010 Under as a HO

Surgical posting is coming to an end. It is really something different. Something that really screw your mind. I do not feel the joy of finishing this posting yet. Maybe it all not yet sink in as I still have 4 days of work waiting and 2 days of eod calls for my fellow muslim friends.

Raya is coming. For those who like racing on the road, please think of your love ones. Stop that stupid behavior and try to spend more time doing beneficial things. While others, please keep your children in sight and lets all have a peaceful raya, without ICBs and MVAs.

Thank you!

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Updates

Posted by peanut on Saturday Aug 21, 2010 Under as a HO

I got nothing to blog! Gosh I’m so boring.

:(

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Too many ants

Posted by peanut on Sunday Aug 8, 2010 Under as a HO

Looking back at the date of my previous post, it is proven that indeed I’m getting lazier in posting up or writing up diaries. A good sign to show that the houseman is really working, a bad sign for myself that maybe I already lost some grip of my own life.

Anyway, had this conversation with my senior the other day. Will put it in another way.

Let’s say, there are production of 3000 units of goods per year to the market, and each year only less than 1000 production was chosen to be upgraded. When time goes by, there will be more and more production of left in the market. Each year they will always be a leftover of 2000 units, and the chance of being selected to be the ‘upgradable’ product decreases, first is 1 over 3, and the subsequent yer, 1 over 5 and 1 over 7 and so on.

This is exactly what it is happening in this profession.

First there are thousands of medical graduates. And then there are limited post graduate seats. And slowly we are filling up the ministry and filling up all those needs.

Even thou few months in the service, I do notice that what we actually lack of is experienced doctors. And the outcome of the health care most of the time depends on where you are and whether there is any specialist available.

Time later, it will be harder to get a chance to work in the places that we want because seats will be filled, there will be a surge of production and hospitals start to have choices. If we do not hold any special experiences, there are simply no reason why a hospital would prefer you rather than another doctor.

It is going to be tough.

A lot will be back log as MOs. A lot will struggle applying for masters. A lot will be disappointed as there are simply too many to choose from and the competition is tough. There must be an edge.

This is a sad phenomenon. Something has to be done.

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You must think positive

Posted by peanut on Thursday Jul 29, 2010 Under as a HO

There is an old indian auntie who always come in for chemotherapy. She said I look like her nephew (I got indian face?)

HO : Her branulla very hard to get. No veins d.
Grandma : Last time I was a regular donor. Now after radio all my veins become like this.
HO : You must keep this branulla properly you know. No more place to poke d.
Grandma : You must think positive laaa..

For those who can’t read chinese, hope this helps :)

I cherish,

when each night I have to fight for the blanket with my partner, it means he/she is not with another person.
when there is youngsters who only know how to watch TV and doesn’t know how to clean up the dishes, it means he/she is obediently sitting at home and not loitering outside.
I pay tax, because it means I have a job.
when the shirt becomes tighter, it means I eat well.
when my effort is covered by darkness, it means I am under bright sun (bright future).
when I have grass yet to be mowed, windows yet to be clean, drains yet to be fixed, it means that I have a house.
when I have all sorts of complains about the government, it means I was given the freedom of speech.
when I can only park my car far away from my destination, it means that I still can walk, and it means that I am lucky to have a car.
when I have expensive electric bill, it means that I enjoy my aircon.
when in the church, the people behind sounded so horrible, because it means that I still can here.
when there are lots of laundry to wash and iron, it means that I have clothes to wear.
when I’m all worn out and tired for one day’s work, it means that I’m dedicated to my job.
when I wake up because of that irritating alarm, it means that I’m still alive.
lastly, I cherish when I see my inbox filled up, because it means that there are lots of friends who will think of me.
I cherish.

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A piece of holiday cake

Posted by peanut on Wednesday Jul 28, 2010 Under as a HO

On leave for 4 days.

The first thing i gotta do is to disable my 5 alarms on my iPhone so that I can wake up NATURALLY tomorrow morning.

And hopefully it rains tonight so that the pleasure of lazying in bed will be stretch to the maximum. Even thou I know that there is still a big chance that I automatically open my eyes and my limbs will jerk a bit at 6.30am and 7am respectively due to the habit but it is still going to be a good rest for me. Hopefully.

There are certain things that I hope to accomplish. And certain things which need to be done and hopefully the plans go according to line. Most importantly I hope there is no calls from the hospital during these 4 days. A call from anybody related to work this time would definitely upset the whole mood. Pray hard.

Going home for the first time after 2 and a half month! Would wanna drive my dad’s new car. And hopefully catch a movie with my family. Not very grand plan but these have to be carried out.

My list :

1. Disable my alarm.
2. Recharge my camera’s battery and clean my lenses.
3. Bring back all my laundry to wash!
4. Service the car.
5. Settle the movie list.
6. Learn a new tune, learn a new photography skill.
7. Make myself immune to my desires - like buying a new guitar, buying the iphone pod+alarm+radio, or buying anything at all.
8. Gotta chia parents makan -_-”

Most importantly, enough rest so that I can continue working for the Puasa month and later on cover during raya for my friends. Adios!

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Another world

Posted by peanut on Tuesday Jul 20, 2010 Under as a HO, blogin

Working in the government sector is no easy job.

This idea strikes me even more when I see our ‘clients’ complain. Complain of the service, complain of the mistakes, complain of this and that. These are the reasons why I think private sector in health care is ABSOLUTELY needed.

Sometimes, people do not notice that they are getting the best out of so little money that they pay.

A job that deals with people all the time is not an easy job. People expect you to be in a good mood despite you have your own problem to deal with. People expect you to be VERY EFFICIENT despite you need to take care of A LOT more things other than that only one patient. People expect you to put up with your best smile, deal with their problems with utmost efficiency and professionalism when it is, in real life, almost impossible to be done. And no matter how much we do, we still get the same pay, so.. tell me a good reason if all of this is no other than doing this for the community and for you, as a Malaysian of my home country.

Recently I had this conversation.

Auntie : Aiya. The treatment is 2 days from now why you all didn’t tell earlier. Now I need to stay 1 day here already.
Me : Auntie, why you didn’t ask the doctor properly in the clinic.
Auntie : How I know wor. You all didn’t tell.
Me : Nevermind la, 1 day only me. You can rest here doing nothing what.
Auntie : What ah, I got a lot of things to do leh!
Me : For example?
Auntie : Looking after my grandchildren.
Me : Where is your son?
Auntie : At home la, but he gotta work.
Me : Where is his wife?
Auntie : At home la.
Me : Working?
Auntie : No la.
Me : Then? She kenot take care of the kids ah?
Auntie : No mar, my son thought I can go home today so he took off today ma. Now I can only go home tomorrow.
Me : Auntie, you are sick now, why you think of other people first? Tomorrow is not far away you know.
Auntie : No mar, I got a lot of things to do. I got 6 kids to look after you know.
Me : Auntie, when you children are small, you look after them. Now they big already, you look after their children. But now you are sick your children kenot even take another day off to fetch you home ah?
Auntie : ……..

And the same son came to hospital complaining about the same thing and the reason being that the mum gotta help out at home. So? It is a whole life for this lady to take care of other people, and nobody to take care of her?

There are more ridiculous thing.

Not to mentions occasions when I seriously think that the family just want the older one to die away easily. They thought that it is better to let their mum die with disease, rather than suffering from that operation which could ACTUALLY save their mum from dying, and living a lot more years compared to what she is suffering now.

Dying is easy if you think of a proper way to kill yourself.

Dying is hard when you let a disease kill you. I think it is going to be a long painful death. Imagine the face I have when after explaining for almost 30mins and lots of coaxing but the family members still refuse for operation. And on top of that, they don’t even take care of their mum. They send their mum back to the old folks home. And she has like what… 6 children?

So their best plan is to send their mum with disease, back to old folks home, and wait until the old folks home to ring them up and tell them their mum is dead? And a funeral with lots of tears I suppose?

I had explained that things will get nasty. Sooner or later it is going to be so bad that they will send her back to hospital. And BECAUSE I’m a government servant, because this is a government hospital, despite their crazy brains deciding not for any intervention at such a benign early stage, I told them ‘if there is any problem, please come back to us and we will see how we can help. Enter through emergency department’.

Guess what, she was sent back to hospital after a week. This time appearing in a worse condition. And family STILL choose not for intervention. I wonder why she is here in the ward in the first place??

百行德为首 万事孝为先

I think I wanna call my mum. Hmmph…

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Weekends

Posted by peanut on Tuesday Jul 13, 2010 Under as a HO, blogin

Sorry for my crappy headlines.

Attended my MOs wedding not long ago. Finally got time to sit down and upload these pics (using up my postcall pm off time). Sigh. Time is seriously what I need during this posting. Lack of sleep yet would want to utilize the time properly. It seriously can be quite a big dilemma by itself, especially for me who doesn’t really put much priority in the word ’sleep’.

Anyway, it was a wonderful wedding since I got to see my ex-bosses who I seldom bump to nowadays. Even thou there are only limited familiar faces around, I guess it is still quite ‘productive’.

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King and Queen of the day.

One thing with Malay wedding would be it is a big crowd and good get around for everybody, not as elaborated like the Chinese wedding. Well, I’m not new to this but it gives me a chance to have a look at the so called ‘kampung’ in Melaka.

We are all getting older by time, but there are still so many things to struggle with. Struggle with money, with future plans, with whatever it is that we are trying to achieve. Remember all those nice dreams that I would want them to happen when I grew up, and now when I’m at that stage, they are all quite hard to be achieved. Everything need planning, planning and planning. And of course, along the way, pick up some skills and ditch some bad habits. Somehow in the end I can only hope that I wouldn’t end up too bad.

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The boss.

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The 3 girls that I went to the wedding with. Haven’t been seeing Ain for quite some time haha. Imagine, same hospital, yet seldom bump into each other. That basically describe the whole working life.

Hopefully we will seriously smile all the way through this.

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