blackpeanut.com

Working in the government sector is no easy job.

This idea strikes me even more when I see our ‘clients’ complain. Complain of the service, complain of the mistakes, complain of this and that. These are the reasons why I think private sector in health care is ABSOLUTELY needed.

Sometimes, people do not notice that they are getting the best out of so little money that they pay.

A job that deals with people all the time is not an easy job. People expect you to be in a good mood despite you have your own problem to deal with. People expect you to be VERY EFFICIENT despite you need to take care of A LOT more things other than that only one patient. People expect you to put up with your best smile, deal with their problems with utmost efficiency and professionalism when it is, in real life, almost impossible to be done. And no matter how much we do, we still get the same pay, so.. tell me a good reason if all of this is no other than doing this for the community and for you, as a Malaysian of my home country.

Recently I had this conversation.

Auntie : Aiya. The treatment is 2 days from now why you all didn’t tell earlier. Now I need to stay 1 day here already.
Me : Auntie, why you didn’t ask the doctor properly in the clinic.
Auntie : How I know wor. You all didn’t tell.
Me : Nevermind la, 1 day only me. You can rest here doing nothing what.
Auntie : What ah, I got a lot of things to do leh!
Me : For example?
Auntie : Looking after my grandchildren.
Me : Where is your son?
Auntie : At home la, but he gotta work.
Me : Where is his wife?
Auntie : At home la.
Me : Working?
Auntie : No la.
Me : Then? She kenot take care of the kids ah?
Auntie : No mar, my son thought I can go home today so he took off today ma. Now I can only go home tomorrow.
Me : Auntie, you are sick now, why you think of other people first? Tomorrow is not far away you know.
Auntie : No mar, I got a lot of things to do. I got 6 kids to look after you know.
Me : Auntie, when you children are small, you look after them. Now they big already, you look after their children. But now you are sick your children kenot even take another day off to fetch you home ah?
Auntie : ……..

And the same son came to hospital complaining about the same thing and the reason being that the mum gotta help out at home. So? It is a whole life for this lady to take care of other people, and nobody to take care of her?

There are more ridiculous thing.

Not to mentions occasions when I seriously think that the family just want the older one to die away easily. They thought that it is better to let their mum die with disease, rather than suffering from that operation which could ACTUALLY save their mum from dying, and living a lot more years compared to what she is suffering now.

Dying is easy if you think of a proper way to kill yourself.

Dying is hard when you let a disease kill you. I think it is going to be a long painful death. Imagine the face I have when after explaining for almost 30mins and lots of coaxing but the family members still refuse for operation. And on top of that, they don’t even take care of their mum. They send their mum back to the old folks home. And she has like what… 6 children?

So their best plan is to send their mum with disease, back to old folks home, and wait until the old folks home to ring them up and tell them their mum is dead? And a funeral with lots of tears I suppose?

I had explained that things will get nasty. Sooner or later it is going to be so bad that they will send her back to hospital. And BECAUSE I’m a government servant, because this is a government hospital, despite their crazy brains deciding not for any intervention at such a benign early stage, I told them ‘if there is any problem, please come back to us and we will see how we can help. Enter through emergency department’.

Guess what, she was sent back to hospital after a week. This time appearing in a worse condition. And family STILL choose not for intervention. I wonder why she is here in the ward in the first place??

百行德为首 万事孝为先

I think I wanna call my mum. Hmmph…

I think the below post is going to make me look like a dumbster. But I think it is worth pondering on.

I got 2 warning letters.

1st one for another friend’s mistake which I’m not going to talk about. But it just means that I wasn’t alert enough to prevent that from happening. I was dumb. I admit.

2nd one. I got a warning letter because I do not know my patient’s pulse rate.

Okay, now, will you think that it is ridiculous?

But when I was standing there, looking at my boss signing up that ’saman’ form for me, I thought I deserved it. Even thou it is not a very acute case, not a very important significant case. It was the pulse rate of a post appendicectomy patient, who had his breakfast that morning.

He said, you didn’t examine your patient. I admit, I learned to ‘copy’ pulse rate from observation chart, I didn’t took it myself.

My big boss now requires us to do even more.

Know what is ‘pain as the fifth vital signs’?

So what is VITAL SIGNS?

If it is so vital, why don’t you do it yourself? Why let the student nurses or nurses to do it?

This I have to admit. It makes sense. So if you come to visit us in the ward, we will be taking the BPs, PR, RR and etc. Vital signs. It makes sense. Weird that nobody actually punish HOs for not doing that except them. If this 4 months is really training, then I think at least this will be one of the good habits taken up by a lot of us.

So, still something good out of bad situations right?

Sorry for my crappy headlines.

Attended my MOs wedding not long ago. Finally got time to sit down and upload these pics (using up my postcall pm off time). Sigh. Time is seriously what I need during this posting. Lack of sleep yet would want to utilize the time properly. It seriously can be quite a big dilemma by itself, especially for me who doesn’t really put much priority in the word ’sleep’.

Anyway, it was a wonderful wedding since I got to see my ex-bosses who I seldom bump to nowadays. Even thou there are only limited familiar faces around, I guess it is still quite ‘productive’.

King and Queen of the day.

One thing with Malay wedding would be it is a big crowd and good get around for everybody, not as elaborated like the Chinese wedding. Well, I’m not new to this but it gives me a chance to have a look at the so called ‘kampung’ in Melaka.

We are all getting older by time, but there are still so many things to struggle with. Struggle with money, with future plans, with whatever it is that we are trying to achieve. Remember all those nice dreams that I would want them to happen when I grew up, and now when I’m at that stage, they are all quite hard to be achieved. Everything need planning, planning and planning. And of course, along the way, pick up some skills and ditch some bad habits. Somehow in the end I can only hope that I wouldn’t end up too bad.

The boss.

The 3 girls that I went to the wedding with. Haven’t been seeing Ain for quite some time haha. Imagine, same hospital, yet seldom bump into each other. That basically describe the whole working life.

Hopefully we will seriously smile all the way through this.

The reminiscence.

I was informed by DeFa that this 1st of May will be the 25th Anniversary of YBF. I have to admit that I was a bit reluctant to go as I wasn’t sure about my off days and all but I guess I made the right choice :)

I was greeted by that same building that once spent a lot of time in. I guess it was the same for everybody. And the very first thing that I noticed is…

Doesn’t he look like our Tan Tho Wei?!?!?!!

Different generation. Same face. Haha. Well, it straight away brought me back to sweet old times. LOL. But I never got to talk to this more ‘in’ version of ThoWei.

A walk around the building revealed this.

Meaning good food after the event! The same old aunties cooking for all the camps and events including Wesak day. It is certainly something to look forward to.

At first I was a bit bored because of the small quantity of people who presented. This is merely 10% of us here! 10% from the 1st YBF camp & members till the current 24th YBF camp members. Anyway, the even kicked off. A speech from the current chairman of Kluang Young Buddhist Fellowship.

And then the very core of YBF, and also at the same time, the founder of this big family.

Like I said, these are merely 10% of this big family. Seriously.

And then we have a talk session, for the older generations to tell us what this is all about 25 years ago, how everything evolves and what YBF meant to them during that time.

Most talk about a lot of stuffs. The odd time of bathing in 3 mins or less. The limit of water usage during YBF camp. The memory of singing the Triple Gem Song, the moments together with friends, to treasure our big family friendship. I particularly like something which was said by one senior that there will never be a gap between us, the older YBF and the younger ones, because we are one big family :)

Well, what I noticed, be in older generations who joined YBF 20 years ago or those who join during the past 10 years, we never shy away from cameras.

SO nice to see people smile. I think I need some smile dose myself.

Later on we have some singing session. And sang some of the all time favorite Buddhist songs. Can’t believe we sang the 4 songs compilation -__-”

Anyway, it was fun! Until seniors beh tahan that the younger generation holding hands and singing happily on the floor. He practically took over and shoo the guitarists to back stage. LOL.

They challenged us for a song vs song situation. The younger vs older YBF thingy. LOL.

Note who is the guitarists now!

And demanded for the very first Buddhist song book which they used 25 years ago!

Some songs were written by the seniors. And the writer itself could not remember how to sing them. Haha.

And a peaceful ‘joint venture’ of the lovelit image song bridging the ‘gap’. Come to think of it. Things didn’t really changed. We do shared the same memory, same song book, and same likings.

Ah wa making the birthday cake for YBF.

And the end, before eating and lots of big family pics!

The ‘older’ generations. Very sensitive word among them by the way. The word old shouldn’t be said often!

And the younger but also old us. 10% of us i guess.

And the current happy YBF. 25% of them i guess.

And our future!

And those all who present.

This is definitely only some of us. Where are all of you? Hopefully the next anniversary will be more happening. With more old friends appearing.

This is how we grew!

Sadhu sadhu sadhu! :)

Just at the title denotes, is a puppy love story. First love story.

A bit too realistic lur. Sometimes the one you like do not always end up together.. Hmm.. Deep deep..

Planing for end-posting trip!

Edited*

I think I need to edit this post because I found out that my page was quite high up in the google search rank for this title. And I didn’t write much about the movie. Guilty for not promoting local production.

Had come to know about this singer Ah Niu since secondary school. Instantly fall in love with most of his songs. Even thou some think that there are some standard issues, I think it suits my mind. And when I know he filmed a movie, I practically forced my fren to go watch with me.

She was quite skeptical about local production.

The movie was shot well. The story line is good. And the song, well, I just replayed the song few times before I post this. So what you think?

I know sometimes it is hard to take the first step to support local production. But the fact is that our Malaysian artists sometimes do have more potential and sometimes even perform better than overseas. Yea, you might think whether this movie is worth your RM6 to watch it in the cinema or not but hey, buy a doubt with RM6, and enjoy the guilt for being skeptical in the first place.

Seriously, I think local Love Me Butch sings better than Linkin Park.

Seriously, I think this movie is better than a lot of Chinese movie out there.

It is a movie that leave you an after taste. Bitter or sweet.

Did I mention I like the song?

Yo.. didn’t notice that it had been such a long time since I last updated!

Well, some brief updates.

I was busy because, well, as usual, there are more important things to be done, there are more matters nearer to the heart to settle, and there are lots of planning going on.

First of all am very happy to be done with my orthopedic’s presentation. And the logbook is almost filled up and now left the viva. I think my boss wouldn’t make it too hard for me since he always ask me all sorts of things already.

And even thou I have 5 days of end posting leave but I don’t know how to make use of them. Planning to go somewhere, but where? Well, let me think for the time being.

And of course with the coming new month, new wards allocation, and I hope all those patients seen by me in the new block will get well soon and get themselves discharge real early. No use staying in hospital for too long.

Plus a month in periphery with lack of branulla and blood drawing practices, i think my skill is going down the drain again. Haha.

Something special this month would be meeting up ShihMun, Albert and Euveng in Melaka. Of course it was really fun bring them around, especially for Euveng as this is the first time we FINALLY meet up after knowing each others existence since June! Or maybe earlier than that.

What I have to say, if it is fated, then things will happen. No use pushing too hard I guess.

Hopefully my end-posting plans really works. And next stop will be Surgery! Beginning of mother of nightmares.

Today I woke up post call. Luckily yesterday’s rain didn’t bring me any open fracture which I need to enter OT to assist!

Anyway, woke up in the cooling morning is quite refreshing! And then the next problem is, don’t know what to do.

Albert had text me the other day saying he is in Malacca but he didn’t contacted me after that.

So, as usual, pulled Karen up for breakfast, at this place near jonker street which serves dai pao with gravy in it!

Dimsum for Sunday morning is always nice. But no pictures, too bad.

And later on meet up with Albert in chicken rice shop, and brought him to walk around the place. Nothing much as usual as he has limited time. Chendol was a must.

And I was surprised when I saw Shihmun’s at chicken rice shop hugging that sign board because of the heat.

-__-”

She never told she is gonna come. I think she wanna paktoh so I pandai pandai didn’t kacau them during that first part.

After sending Albert off, I meet up with Shihmun n bf instead. And had a walk to Qing Yun Ting, a place where I had always wanna go but well.. procrastinator.

ShihMun praying to get married fast.

And I went to tilik my future. Quite straight forward and true also. I think is the exact thing that I need to hear now.

And later on add oil for myself. LOL. For myself and family I should say. Add oil means jia you. I need to jia you here and there. Can see my name there?

And I like what is written on one of the door.

You can interpret it differently as ‘Who am I?’ or ‘I live for who?’. Very deep kan?..

Monday coming…. :(

Haven’t been enjoying much Sundays. However, I was post-call. A jonah 100% call :(

Anyway, don’t know why I still got such big energy inside me to do something different on a post call Sunday off day. On my way walking back to my hostel, i called the only person who would wake up so early on a Sunday, and I called another person whom I know it would be fun to mess up with her sleep.

And I pulled them along for dimsum, at 7am, on Sunday, to a very typical chinese dimsum restaurant :)

Den since we consumed lotsa fat that morning, had a walk at Bukit Cina.

And evening, fulfill my 4 months desire (yea I bought the kite for 4 months already and never flew it).

Finally.

LOL.

All the kites there are so small. I would want to fly a giant size one. I think I’ll bring a trend to Melaka kite flying culture - to fly giant kites.

Bought a 6 metres giant from ebay d. Hopefully it reaches here by next week or next next week!

And later on at night went for Clash of the Titans. And saw them having make up competition, and was amused by this.

LOL.

That’s the short Sunday. Monday blues coming up. Sigh.

What I’ve got for becoming a so-so judge. Even thou I cabut the closing ceremony and big family photo session, they still gave me this :)

the fact that I’m in my 2nd posting.

I’m happy that I still wake up in the morning wishing that I could do some good today.

I’m happy that I still could stand there and ask how are you to my patient each day.

I’m happy that I actually have these thoughts that this all is a happy start of a day.

Despite the fact that I have things to do,

I’m happy I go to clinic and see more people.

I’m happy I’m picking up things.

I’m happy that I come back and I would want to revise things that I read and learned.

Despite the fact that social life is given a big discount.

I’m happy to learn how to deal with myself.

I’m happy some people still support this backbone of mine.

I’m happy that it is actually not that hard to take the first step.

Despite the fact that all my theories that I developed in the past few years didn’t really stay in my mind anymore,

I’m happy that I’m actually more or less doing what I wanted myself to be.

I’m happy that I still have a certain power and influence over my own mind.

I’m happy I’m shaping something different.

So, it is not that bad after all. I think I have my own plan already.